Keeping the Podcast Lovin' Comin'

Although I tend to work hard on BDK's Movie Show, which I shamelessly plug on this blog weekly (listen to it Friday nights from 7-10pm or stream it at wjfk.com!), this week I was able to relax. I'm in North Carolina on vacation with my family, sipping on some beer and listening to the waves crash down on the shore as I search the sands for girls with a fetish for pasty white bodies (I'm bringing the farmer's tan back in style). However, as part of my duties, I decided I would still check out the new movies and report back to BDK, participating in our weekly podcasts. Yeah, I'm that dedicated.

This week, we review two new movies, My Sister's Keeper and one of the biggest releases of the summer, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. You can check out BDK's written reviews by going to his website and you can read my reviews of these movies by navigating this blog or by simply clicking here and here. So listen, read and enjoy!

BDK and the Beard review June 26th new releases: My Sister's Keeper and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

My Sister's Keeper a Touching Drama

Before getting into my review, allow me to tell a quick story. I'm the type of person who needs absolute silence when watching a movie. I like to completely immerse myself into the experience, forgetting that I'm in a theater watching a film. If so much as one word is uttered, it can completely pull me out of my mindset. In my screening for My Sister's Keeper, two young women behind me were chatting up a storm, getting increasingly annoying as the film went on. I was outraged, literally shaking in my seat. After one polite attempt at quieting them, they persisted on, so I was forced to raise my voice and insist that they cease their incessant banter. They finally did, but any type of emotion the film was trying to convey up to that point was lost in my cloud of anger. But by the end, I was weeping like a little child. My Sister's Keeper didn't only manage to pull me back in, it tugged at my heartstrings and turned my fits of rage into tears of sadness.

Abigail Breslin plays Anna, a girl who has been genetically conceived by her parents to assist her dying sister, Kate (Sofia Vassilieva). As long as she's lived, she has helped Kate by giving her anything out of her body that she needed to stay alive, including painful operations like bone marrow transplants. Now Kate needs a kidney and Anna is the only one that matches her type. Unfortunately, Anna has other plans. She feels that her parents have unjustly used her body throughout her life, so she decides to sue them for its rights. She insists that cutting her open again and again may heal Kate, but damage her in the process. So as Kate withers away, she fights it out with her mother, Sara (Cameron Diaz), in court.

Here's the problem with these types of movies. It's a cheap tactic to have a child with a deathly sickness because it's such an easy target to draw emotion from. It's only natural for us to feel sympathy for a young one who is undeservedly moments away from death and even the most poorly made movies can make us feel that way. The difference here is that it doesn't feel cheap. There's an authentic feel to it that allows you to connect to the characters, which is really the driving force behind the film. I wasn't crying simply because it was a child dying of cancer. I was crying because her peaceful acceptance of death was overwhelmingly powerful. In her words, she doesn't mind that her sickness is killing her, but it's killing her family and she'd rather die than cause burden and pain to the ones she loves.

Without a doubt, there's a touching sadness to the film that really allows us to put life into perspective, while also allowing us to discuss death and accept it as an inevitability. It shows us that it doesn't really matter how we go out, but rather how we spend our time beforehand. In fact, Kate can work as a reminder to us all about that, which is one of the many reasons her character works so well. Another big reason is the actress behind the role, one Sofia Vassilieva, who gives a performance as mesmerizing as I've seen in quite a while. In her first major movie role, Vassilieva delivers an Oscar worthy performance, saddening, yet poignant in her sweeping portrayal of an inches from death young girl who has lived a life dependent on others, thankful for their love, but ready to let go and have them move on with their lives. She's the anchor in this movie.

The film is spliced together through an interweaving timeline, frequently jumping back and forth from the present predicament and important past moments that defined Kate as the person she is today. Through these, you learn of the physical, as well as the emotional pain she has had to go through in her life, which makes it all the sadder to see her clinging onto life in a hospital bed. The interesting thing, however, is that the film is narrated by nearly every character in the movie except Kate. It shows us her experiences firsthand, but we also get different perspectives from the other characters, exploring what they saw, how they felt and why it had an impact on their lives at that moment in time. Even in the midst of controversy and anger, they never lost their love for one another and these narrations worked as a conveyance for that.

Although I hesitate to get so profound as to say the film creates a message about genetic engineering, I do feel the film explores its topics enough to warrant a discussion, and that's a good thing. It doesn't so much answer questions as it does raise them. It asks whether or not genetic engineering someone for a specific purpose is morally right because after all, it's still a person. You can't force them into anything they don't want to do, even if that means it could potentially hurt someone you love. But it also explores the decision of whether or not you should essentially "pull the plug" on a dying loved one. It applauds a mother's desire to keep her child alive no matter what the cost, but asks, when have you gone too far? Eventually, you just have to let them go, no matter how painful it may be. The film certainly won't provide any giant revelation, but it gets you thinking and that's an excellent quality for this type of emotional drama.

I feel like I need to see this movie again, or at least the first half, due to my disgust with the rude couple sitting behind me. I fear I may have missed some vital moments to the story in regards to Kate's journey to her inevitable outcome, one that we all must face sooner or later. But regardless of some people's lack of respect for others, My Sister's Keeper still managed to get my waterworks flowing. When it comes to movies, I'm an openly emotional guy to begin with, but none have touched me this deeply in some time. This isn't a perfect movie, with a few hit and miss scenes sporting questionable dialogue and bad delivery, but the overall product exceeds expectations and manages to make Cameron Diaz relevant again. My Sister's Keeper doesn't disappoint.

My Sister's Keeper receives 4/5

If Only It Had Transformed Itself Into A Better Movie

I've gone on record a number of times saying that I believe the original Transformers movie is one of the most overrated films of the last decade. While the critics have properly defined its quality, with it hovering at a mediocre 57% on Rotten Tomatoes (and even that might be a tad high), fans have praised it as a masterpiece of action filmmaking, the quintessential summer blockbuster full of special effects, action and beautiful women. Unfortunately, it takes more than that to make a good movie. While not particularly bad, Transformers was nothing more than a vacuous, overly long and excessively loud piece of cinematic fluff, a film of no consequence that's destined to be forgotten in the wake of other action flicks more deserving of merit. But its sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, isn't just a huge step backwards. It's a huge step backwards into a large chasm. With a convoluted story, poor acting, idiotic dialogue and racist overtones, Revenge of the Fallen fails to live up to even the most modest of standards.

I could attempt to concoct some type of plot synopsis at this point, as per usual with many of my reviews, but to do so would be in vain, because I didn't have a damn clue what was going on most of the time. Within the overarching story, which follows some nonsense about a pyramid capable of destroying the sun and earth, there are at least five or six side stories. One follows the Decepticons as they attempt to resurrect Megatron, who has since been dumped in the ocean following his defeat in the first movie. Another explores the newly formed alliance between the Autobots and the military. Another tries to expand Sam's (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela's (Megan Fox) relationship. And another follows Sam as he has hallucinations and starts to see mysterious ancient symbols in his head. There are more, believe it or not, but to keep typing would prove no good because there's no way to tie them all together. There was simply too much going on. The film lacked a narrative focus and at two and a half hours, it was an incoherent mess.

Despite its confusing story, the movie still dumbs down plot points. At one point, the camera shows a satellite and says through text, "U.S. Military Satellite." Oh really? Is that what that is? The fact that it was in space, had an American flag on it and had military chatter bouncing off it just wasn't enough, huh? I'm not sure I could have wrapped my feeble little mind around that one. The movie explained things that needed no explaining and ignored things that were too convoluted to understand.

But hey, who cares? Even fans of the first film admit that to appreciate it, you have to look past its asinine story and enjoy the action. So the plot is inconsequential, right? Wrong. To care about the action, I have to care about the story and this clearly didn't have one. While the original wasn't quite as jumbled, it nonetheless played into this same weakness, but the action was spectacular and it kept me mildly entertained, despite the ever increasing brain cells getting slaughtered at its expense. But this time, the action is considerably less exciting because there's a "been there, done that" feeling to it. Just like its predecessor, the action scenes, specifically the final battle, goes on for far too long, at an estimated 45 minutes. The action can be impressive (and it's the only thing in this movie that is), but when there's this much of an abundance, it loses its impact. The action needs to have context to create meaning, but with no downtime, none is formed.

Like many Michael Bay films, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has good production values and looks great in regards to its action scenes and special effects, but the whole of the film is incredibly shallow, offering nothing more than brainless action accompanied by tedious plotlines and poor acting. It quickly becomes an endurance test. How long can you last without wanting to leave the theater in disgust?

Not all of that disgust comes from the obnoxiously loud action, however. You also have the juvenile humor, including one scene that depicts a miniature Decepticon humping Mikaela's leg, immediately followed by another essentially farting out a parachute, all culminating in a late scene showing a Decepticon with two giant wrecking ball testicles. It was moments like these that solidified its place not just at the bottom of the barrel, but burning through that barrel, so deep that you wouldn't hear a rock hit bottom if thrown to test its distance.

Still, its worst transgression comes in the form of Skids and Mudflap, two Autobots helping Sam throughout his journey. As with many of the robots, these two have personality traits that connect them to certain human qualities and can be defined in certain roles. These two took up the "black" role and it's as shockingly racist as you might expect it to be. Even their design plays into the stereotypes many have of African Americans, including gold teeth and large ears protruding from their heads. Once you make them the stupid, illiterate ones and give them lines such as, "Read? We don't really do much reading" and "That's old school, yo," you've crossed the line. I use the word "offensive" in many reviews, but I use it in different contexts. It doesn't always necessarily mean I was personally upset at what had happened, but it certainly does in this case. Skids and Mudflap embody many offensive stereotypes and it was disheartening to see this come through in what should be considered a fun popcorn flick.

Even still, sometimes even the most wretched of material can be made tolerable by good performances, but nobody seemed to care in this disaster of a film. Shia LaBeouf was decent enough, but he's proven himself as a great actor in films like Disturbia and Eagle Eye (say what you want about that movie; he still gave an excellent performance), so it's disappointing to see him essentially phoning it in here. As for Megan Fox, she can barely act with other people. Watching her attempt to interact with something that wasn't really there was pathetic. She was just terrible. Just as well, the two have little chemistry together. In the first flick, Sam was the dorky loser pining over the beautiful girl way out of his league and it worked. In this, he's a buff, super stud and the dramatic change in character didn't authenticate well in the transition from movie to movie.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has so many negatives, it would be nearly impossible to condense them into a readable manner and my longevity in this review is already reaching too long of a length. But when you're dealing with a movie as bad as this, it's essential to point out all of the major problems and if those are all major problems, just think of how many minor ones there are. It boasts an awful script, which includes some eye rolling lines from the robots, who spouted out action clichés as if they were playing a monotonous video game where the protagonist only has three or four recorded lines of dialogue, the forced exposition to get the film moving along was blatantly obvious, the comedy relief mother character was entirely unfunny and the film is poorly structured, with random interjections of unrelated side material during scenes. It's many faults border on outrageous.

I wasn't a huge fan of the first film, but that easily could have been rectified with a little editing, shortening some of the overly long action scenes and cutting out unnecessary filler, but the sequel is beyond redemption. Once one of the characters reaches what is essentially robot heaven, you realize that nothing was going to save this travesty. This is a horrifically bad movie and it won't live up to any expectations set for it, especially considering the insanely high bar the first film's avid fans have inexplicably set for it. You could spend 10 dollars and go waste two and a half hours of your life on this mindless drivel or you could take that money and put it to something useful, like those dinosaurs that grow when you put them in water. It's cheaper, it takes about the same amount of time and it's much more intellectually stimulating.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen receives 0.5/5

Year One Incredibly Unfunny

Jack Black, Michael Cera, Hank Azaria, Paul Rudd, Harold Ramis, David Cross and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. With such an impressive list of hilarious people, comedy fans around the world have a terrific reason to be excited for Year One. Their funny radar should be going wild right about now and they should be flying high in anticipation. Well, I'm about to shoot them down. Year One is awful; a damn near travesty that wastes the comedic talents of everyone involved and it should be avoided at all costs.

Year One doesn't boast much of a story, unless you count "fat idiot and skinny loser say stupid things" as a story. Unfortunately, I don't. I call that a comedy sketch, and that's precisely what this film felt like. It felt like a five minute "Saturday Night Live" short stretched to the breaking point. What could have been funny in one small dose is grating on the nerves at a painfully long runtime of an hour and 4o minutes.

What the movie does is take Jack Black and Michael Cera to seemingly unrelated locales and have them interact with different characters inconsequential to the narrative, which leaves little room for a coherent story arc. In fact, this could be one of the most stupidly confusing movies I've seen all year. On their journey, they meet up with Cain and Abel and travel to Sodom and Gomorrah, creating many biblical references, but it never makes a point. These biblical implications have no payoff and work only as a means to get the characters from one place to the next. But what is its setting? Is it taking place during biblical times? If not, then when? It's called Year One, but its historical timeline is nebulous.

Maybe I'm looking a bit too much into it. After all, this film is merely a vehicle for Black and Cera to show off their comedic talents, both of whom are usually funny. The problem is in their foolish refusal (or lack of ability) to change their styles. Each actor plays basically the same role in each of their respective movies, and that doesn't change here. However, their two styles conflict with each other, never creating a comedic fusion between the two. Black is more over the top with his crazy antics while Cera is more downplayed and sarcastic. The duo had zero comedic chemistry because their differing styles allowed no room for them to play off of each other. Watching Cera desperately try to cling onto something funny from his comedic opposite was embarrassing.

Still, I hesitate to place all of the blame on bad casting because the jokes simply aren't funny. Black and Cera may not be the perfect couple to put opposite each other, but they still do a competent job trying to make something out of nothing, but then again, that is its main problem. There's nothing here. The jokes are terrible, consisting of gross out humor that only the most juvenile of teenagers and children will think are funny, including scenes where Black eats manure and Cera urinates on his own face.

Likewise, too many of the jokes went nowhere, with scenes abruptly ending before any type of punchline was delivered, including a wasted scene with Paul Rudd where his character is relegated to fisticuffs with his brother who eventually kills him. Hilarious.

Year One sports two, maybe three, somewhat amusing jokes that are spread throughout, but even that's only an average of one every 33 minutes. This isn't as bad as, say, Land of the Lost, but considering the impressive amount of talent involved, this is much more disappointing, which you could argue is far worse. I hate to say it, but Year One is a huge waste of time.

Year One receives 1/5

The Proposal Not Quite Worth It

A recent trend has emerged in romantic comedies. Rather than tell a simple love story, most films in the genre try to take it one step further and create situations that are highly implausible. Last year's What Happens in Vegas followed two people who got hitched in a drunken stupor, won millions of dollars and were then sentenced by a judge to "six months hard marriage." Earlier this year, Bride Wars took two best friends whose wedding dates were mixed up and accidentally scheduled on the same day in the same place, forcing one to choose a new wedding site, creating a rivalry between the two. The latest movie to follow this trend is The Proposal, but unlike those aforementioned debacles, this one takes its unconvincing premise and twists it into a tolerable time waster, despite its many problems.

The absurdity in question this time sees Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) about to be deported back to Canada because her Visa has been voided. This means that she wouldn't be able to work for an American company, which would strip her of her job as editor that she worked so hard for. Her only option is to blackmail her assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) into marrying her to make her citizenship official and eliminate the threat of deportation. Unfortunately, the INS is onto their game and they are forced to act like a real couple to avoid suspicion. To do this, they take a trip to see Andrew's family in Alaska and try to keep the ruse going long enough for their plan to work.

The Proposal takes the tired subject matter of two people reluctantly falling in love despite their previous hatred for one another, ties it into a ridiculous story and actually manages not to fall flat on its face. Here's why. Contrary to a movie like What Happens in Vegas, the characters in this film aren't detestable. That movie portrayed two terrible people playing mean spirited pranks and jokes on each other and it wasn't fun to watch. With such reprehensible characters, it was hard to root for them or care about what happens, but the characters in The Proposal aren't repulsive human beings, but rather flawed individuals with problems that explain why they sometimes act the way they do. Margaret has had a surprisingly tough life. Her parents died when she was young and she's been on her own as long as she can remember. She never had a family to love and care for her, which explains a lot of her venomous ways and is a testament to how well thought out the characters were. Yes, Margaret and Andrew fight a lot, but it never feels like it's being mean spirited just for the sake of it. The malice from each character comes from the frustration they have about their personal lives.

Be that as it may, the story is still a mess, ranging from the ludicrous setup to the unnecessary side story involving Andrew's daddy issues. Throughout the movie, Andrew's father, played by Craig T. Nelson, pressures him into taking up the family business in Alaska, causing a constant argument over Andrew's desire to instead work as an editor in New York. What could have worked as another layer to these otherwise well written characters works more as uninteresting filler that takes up more than its fair share of screen time, but goes nowhere, with the conflict quickly resolving because the film was running out of leeway.

Given the nature of the situation, much of the humor revolved around awkward exchanges, which isn't always funny and fell flat too many times, mostly from the likes of Sandra Bullock, whose character is too bitchy and annoying to be funny. Every joke that hits is from the comedically talented and underrated Ryan Reynolds, who is excellent in this type of role and really won me over with his alluring charisma and spot on comedic timing. Whereas Bullock seemed to be trying too hard, with over the top antics that didn't sit well with the tone of the film, Reynolds' more down to earth approach and subtle delivery complimented the screenplay and made up for Bullock's lackluster witticism.

Although the two leads have good chemistry together, which makes the more dramatic moments work well, the film hits too many roadblocks along the way, with long stretches of humorless drivel and loony plot points (wait until you see Betty White dancing around a campfire and chanting incoherent nonsense), and it simply doesn't have enough to sustain it all the way through. The Proposal was a pretty enjoyable film and it's a close call, but it just has too many problems to warrant a recommendation.

The Proposal receives 2.5/5

Super Fun Podcast Time

I'm well aware that not every podcast I do with BDK is particularly exciting. Some weeks are just boring, with minimal releases where we tend to agree, which makes our discussions too calm for the attention span of your average Internet surfer. Well, this week's a doozy. We don't necessarily argue over the new movies (we both basically agreed on them actually), but it's the extra discussion that's real interesting. That or I'm just pretentious and love the sound of my own voice. Whatever.

On top of the week's new releases, The Proposal and Year One (look for those reviews soon), we talk about the June 30th DVD release of one of the most unintentionally funny movies I've ever seen (and one of my inevitable worst of the year picks), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, as well as my doling out two zero scores in two weeks (to the horrendous films Land of the Lost and Imagine That--read my reviews here and here), and topping off with a quick debate on which will be better: My Sister's Keeper or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Look for our actual reviews for those two flicks next week where I'll be calling in from North Carolina.

For now though, check out our podcast and don't forget to listen to BDK's Movie Show live every Friday night from 7-10pm or stream it on wjfk.com. You can also check out BDK's written reviews by clicking here.

BDK and the Beard review June 19th new releases: The Proposal and Year One.

BDK and the Beard Are At It Again

Before I landed a job working on BDK's Movie Show on 106.7 WJFK (listen to it Friday nights from 7-10pm or stream it at wjfk.com!), I was a lonely soul wandering the curving roads of the back country. One day, upon approaching a bridge, an evil troll jumped out and demanded that I give him a magical potion that would transform all of the cuddly teddy bears in the world into ravenous beasts, so as to make the world a more hostile place. What reasoning he had for this I do not know. All of a sudden, a man with sweeping blonde hair that glistened in the sun rode down a mountain on horseback, coming to aid me in my plight. He gave the troll the five finger death punch, hurling him away from the bridge and over the mountain, allowing me to pass. Then he asked me in return that I make super awesome podcasts about movies so he could listen. I figured it was the least I could do. True story.

And so I'm here, giving you (and the mysterious man with flowing locks of golden hair) another movie podcast where BDK and I review the week's newest releases. This week, we talk about the latest remake, The Taking of Pelham 123, the new Nickelodeon kids flick, Imagine That, and a small, independent film named Away We Go. You can read all of my reviews of these movies by navigating this blog or by clicking here, here and here. You can also read BDK's written reviews over at his website. For now though, listen and try not to cream yourself over our innate awesomeness.

BDK and the Beard review June 12th new releases: The Taking of Pelham 123, Imagine That and Away We Go.

Imagine That Wholly Unimaginative

When the best part of your theater experience is one of the trailers beforehand, you know you've just watched a bad film. I found more enjoyment, hilarity and charm in a two minute Toy Story 3 teaser trailer than I did during the whole runtime of Imagine That, the latest travesty to further propel Eddie Murphy into cinematic obscurity.

Murphy plays Evan, a financial executive that has become the type of father who is obsessed with his work and spends little time with his child. One day, he is called out of a meeting to pick up his daughter, Olivia (Yara Shahidi), from school. She has a blanket called a Goo-gah (ugh) that she just can't seem to part with. Inside of her blanket, she has a few imaginary princess friends who apparently have great advice for her father because she seems to know of impending mergers and what companies to invest in. Figuring this out, Evan decides to use Olivia and her blanket to further his career.

A financial executive who crunches numbers and participates in business meetings? Boy, that's a hootenanny. The kids will love that. Imagine That is too childish for adults and it's too focused on the menial tasks required of Evan's job to keep the interest of young children. Who is this movie aiming for?

Who cares? This is one of the most brain deadening films I've seen in a long time. You know those lights in the middle of most theaters that point mid-movie pedestrians in the right direction? I started counting them to see how many there were leading up to my row. There were 23. Coincidentally, left to right, there were 14 1/2 tiles on the ceiling (the last one was cut off halfway). I had more interest in the design of the theater I was sitting in than I did in the film, an obvious bad sign.

As with all films like this where the father is the bad guy, Evan is frank with Olivia because, heaven forbid, he tries to discipline her. What an asshole. All things considered, it's hard to blame him. She won't get rid of her ridiculous blanket and lets out a blood curdling scream when it's taken away, she interrupts him during important business meetings and she draws on his worksheets which are vital to his job. She's a nuisance; a little pest that won't leave him to the work that desperately needs to be done if she ever hopes to get to college. Maybe he wouldn't be so neglectful and he'd have more play time with her if he didn't have to keep her in check because of her misbehavior.

Of course, maybe he was a bit harsh. After all, she needs psychiatric help, not just a hospitable father. She doesn't merely have imaginary friends as many children do. She truly believes her all knowing princess buddies are really there, seeking their comfort under the hidden veil of her blanket rather than confiding in actual friends.

Imagine That goes through the motions with its tired premise. Evan slowly begins to understand that Olivia is the most important thing in his life and the movie eventually climaxes into what could be the single most overused and clichéd ending in cinema history where the dad rushes into his child's school recital, making it just in time and putting a smile on his kid's face. Earlier in the film, Olivia complains about not being able to sing her solo, a rendition of the Beatles' "All You Need Is Love" and Evan helps her practice. As she stands up there at the end of the movie, frozen in silence, I thought to myself, "If he runs in and starts singing, I'm getting up and leaving." This doesn't happen, but what does is far worse, something so hackneyed that I didn't get up and leave, but rather went into a state of catatonic shock, in such a stupor from the innate idiocy of the movie that my brain had completely shut off in an attempt to commit intellectual suicide, aware of the millions of brain cells dying and wishing only to get the job done faster.

The film is full of harebrained lunacy, including the revelation that the blanket's powers come from Wakayabi (approximate spelling), some type of ancient Indian secret that allows children to see pertinent financial information, which makes total sense because Native Americans were all about financial business mergers. I could go on (and on and on and on), but typing more would be irrelevant. It's like the WNBA. Nobody cares.

I feel like I'm handing out this final score a bit too liberally (seeing as how Land of the Lost received it just last week), but this is a movie review and I'm obliged to give my honest opinion. In doing so, I feel my score is just. Imagine That isn't just bad; it's one of the most inane and trite kids movies I've ever seen.

Imagine That receives 0/5

Taking of Pelham 123 Fun While It Lasts

When most people think of Tony Scott, they tend to remember the man who directed hits like True Romance and Man on Fire. What most people forget is that he also directed garbage like Déjà Vu and he will next be helming the impending Warriors remake, which is blasphemous enough in itself. Unlike his brother, Ridley, whose filmography is more or less an impressive string of excellent movies (including classics like Blade Runner and Alien), Tony's resume consists of hit and miss pictures that spread over three decades. His latest, The Taking of Pelham 123 (pronounced one, two, three) is much like his film history: a mixed bag with enough momentum to keep it from dying, but little to sustain it throughout its course.

A remake of the 1974 picture of the same name, The Taking of Pelham 123 follows a group of armed men who hijack a New York City subway train and hold the passengers for a ransom of 10 million dollars. The city has an hour to gather the money and for every minute they go over, a passenger will be executed. The hijackers are led by Ryder (John Travolta) who makes his demands to dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel Washington), who gets stuck in the thick of the situation and is forced to take extreme action to stop him.

Although technically a thriller, The Taking of Pelham 123 starts out as a film where action doesn't play a major role. Instead, it's more of a slow moving, dramatic movie and these were the parts I enjoyed the most. Travolta is absolutely gripping as the unstable Ryder and watching him interact via radio with Garber is intense because they both have their own agendas, both playing a tricky game of deceit, one trying to stall while the other plays mind games.

In a way, Ryder works as an angel on Garber's shoulder. Garber was sent to Japan to look at a new set of trains and pick the best model. The Japanese offered him a bribe of $35,000 to pick theirs and since that was going to be his choice anyway, he took it. He has been accused of the crime and has since been demoted in light of an investigation. At one point in the movie, Ryder and Garber talk of the Catholic church's ways of confession, with Ryder admitting his Catholicism. In a pivotal scene, he takes over the role of a priest and purges Garber of his sins. He practically forces a confession out of him. It was fascinating. Unfortunately, this fascination quickly desolves into a routine action picture.

Partway through, it felt like the filmmakers got bored and decided to throw in some useless, fast paced action scenes, including a sequence with not one, not two, but three completely unnecessary crashes. To get the 10 million dollars to its destination, the NYPD has to drive the money to its proper location, so they create a police escort and speed through the streets of New York City with the money in the back. Not only does one cop car inexplicably get smashed, a biker cop runs into a non-moving car and the main police cruiser with the cash in it doesn't just get hit, it gets flipped literally a dozen times, falling off of a bridge and landing upside down on the streets below. A million questions were running through my mind. What was the purpose of this? Wouldn't the NYPD block off most of the city streets in this type of emergency? Am I really supposed to believe that not one, but two inattentive drivers smashed into the police escort? Why not use a helicopter? It worked only as a manufactured way to stall the police procession and create fake tension.

If Travolta was the shining light in the film, Washington was the loose end. While Travolta was engrossing in his performance as a man on the edge, harking back to his earlier days of playing the bad guy in films like Broken Arrow and Face/Off, Washington is less captivating. He's far from bad; it's just that we've come to expect so much from him and he simply fails to deliver. This could be due to the nature of the screeplay, however, because the two characters are vastly different and one is allowed more freedom than the other. Travolta is playing an unstable, vengeful man, so he clicks into a range of emotions, sometimes screaming with rage and sometimes calm and collected. Washington basically sits behind a desk and talks for the majority of the movie. He simply isn't given much to do which didn't allow him to flex his acting muscles.

Additionally, some of the dialogue in the film was indubitably silly, contrary to the tone. There were a handful of unintentional laugh out loud exchanges in the film, including this gem in regards to Ryder's perception of Garber's chatter over the radio: "He's got a sexy voice. He'd be my bitch in prison." Please. These moments were shocking to hear considering the talent involved, but nevertheless, hear them I did.

Despite all these problems, the main premise and the excellent performance by Travolta put some real intensity in the proceedings and kept the movie from failing. There's no real need to rush out to the theater this instant, but if you're in the mood for a well crafted, albeit significantly flawed thriller, you could do a whole lot worse than The Taking of Pelham 123.

The Taking of Pelham 123 receives 3/5

Away We Go an Enjoyable Journey

Away We Go is a film that wastes no time introducing its two main characters and their many quirky traits. From the first shot, which shows Burt (John Krasinski) going down on his girlfriend, Verona (Maya Rudolph), we learn that these two are madly in love, but have a sense of humor about things, never relegating themselves to what society would deem a "normal" couple. They're a little rugged, not in the audacious, masculine way, but more in the looks-like-they-haven't-showered-in-a-while way, with Burt sporting a giant beard and Verona stripped of any cosmetic enhacements. They aren't beautiful people, but rather ordinary, average ones, and their love is so strong that they can see past the physical aesthetics that others would focus on and see the true goodness of each other inside.

These two characters are the reason this movie works, with all due credit going to Krasinski and Rudolph, who for the first time both get to display their acting talents. Krasinski is great on "The Office," but he rarely gets to take a dramatic turn and Rudolph was funny on "Saturday Night Live," but she too has a lack of dramatic history. They both shine here, giving wonderful performances that pull the flick through even during its sluggish, uneven parts.

Away We Go is about Burt and Verona who have a baby due in a few short months and have moved to live closer to Burt's parents so they can be there when the child arrives, but much to their surprise, his parents tell them they are moving to Belgium and leaving one month prior to the baby's due date. After this unexpected announcement, the two decide to leave their home and travel, starting fresh and exploring the country in search of a good place for their yet to be born baby. Along the way, they meet many people, all of whom inadvertently teach them a lesson about life and help them understand how difficult raising a child will be.

Away We Go is a film about life and love, showing two people who are nervous about bringing a child into the world, fearful of the many hurdles they must face, but quickly learn that their problems aren't so big after all. During their travels, they meet a couple who has just dealt with their fifth miscarriage, unable to have children and devastated by it, despite their many adopted children. They love them to death, but realize they will never truly be their own. Another encounter is with Burt's brother, whose wife has just stranded him and his young daughter and he can't imagine raising her in a world where she is "the girl without a mom." Burt and Verona don't have everything figured out, unsure of where they'll end up, even with a kid on the way, but these encounters are a revelation to them, showing that being there and loving their child will be the only thing that matters. It's the beauty in the simplicity of it all that teaches the importance of family.

However, I felt like the film lacked a real emotional connection. We spend all of our time with Burt and Verona and come to love them, but neither of them ever run into any type of conflict. Their journey is a journey of learning, appreciative of their parental opportunity and vowing to never stop loving each other no matter how tough things get, and I enjoyed that, but the problem is that, as good as the performances were, I never connected with them. The emotion in the movie belongs to the side characters, but the concern here is that their screen time only lasts for about 10 to 15 minutes at best, which leaves little time for us to learn about them or care for their problems.

Nonetheless, some of that passion did manage to seep through to Burt and Verona, including a terrific scene where the two conduct their own pseudo marriage making promises not to love and to cherish, but rather to raise their child in a world free of singularity and loneliness, a world where their child would always have a mother and father. These were the film's best moments. Unfortunately, they were few and far between.

Away We Go managed to balance its dramatic tension and its comedic moments quite well, although it dragged some of its jokes out for too long. Allison Janney plays a minor role in the film, playing an eccentric mother of two who tells it like it is, uncaring of how people perceive her, whose never ending shtick eventually becomes tiresome while her husband, played by Jim Gaffigan, has a running joke about a flood destroying the world that is far too lengthy to be funny. These moments weren't in abundance, but the scattered placement of these elongated sequences worked against the film's otherwise perfect pace.

Away We Go is a good movie that is guaranteed to delight, but it lacks that special something that makes other similar films resonate within us. It leads us to a conveniently dapper conclusion that works for the story, but fails to create any type of emotional payoff, which works to its detriment. If not for Krasinski and Rudolph's sweeping portrayals of their characters, the film could have buckled under its own ambition, but they're the glue holding this one together, even if the foundation is a little wobbly.

Away We Go receives 3.5/5

Moon an Excellent Sci-Fi Tale

Few movies get science fiction the way a true fan of the genre does. Ask any sci-fi buff what makes a good genre film and if they're up to snuff, they'll respond with one simple word: characters. The non-stop action and violence so many films relegate themselves to today makes up only a fraction of what goes into a science fiction movie. Alien wasn't about the grotesque beast lurking in the shadows. It was about Ripley and her crew. Star Wars wasn't about the force. It was about Luke Skywalker's journey. Even the recent Star Trek reboot focused on the relationship between Kirk and Spock. The one thing that all of these movies have in common are that they are driven by their characters, not action. The next in line to get the genre right is Moon, a character study that downplays the action and allows the natural mystery and intrigue of the genre to propel the film forward.

At the start of Moon, we learn that Earth's energy crisis has reached an unforeseen level. To solve this problem, Lunar, a mining company, has contracted Sam (Sam Rockwell) for a three year stay on the moon, employing him to mine it of Helium-3 and send it back to Earth, thus providing the necessary power. He has only two weeks left on his contract and is ready to get back home and see his wife and baby girl. After wrecking his vehicle and knocking himself unconscious while on his way to check one of the harvesters, he awakens back at the main base accompanied by his robot companion, Gerty (voiced by Kevin Spacey), who tells him of the situation. But when he ventures back to the crash site, he finds himself still in the vehicle. Is he seeing things? Is this other self a delusion, or is there something more to it?

Moon is the story of one man's despair, struggling with an inescapable situation, looking forward to going home, but making discoveries that impede that goal. This is a film that knows its strengths lie in its characters, or in this case, character and it gives Rockwell full control of the story and allows his talent to shine through. He is an actor of great stature and he twists each moment into his own. Once he finds himself in the crash, he is essentially playing two identical characters, but he gives each their own distinct traits instead of playing it on one note throughout. His performance becomes even more impressive once the twist is revealed.

The largest gaff with that, however, is that the twist is revealed far too early, leaving only the matter of reaching the end. Intrigue is one of the film's largest assets and once that intrigue is gone, part of its appeal begins to fade away. While it still provides an interesting character study, this sci-fi parable can't help but begin to drag well before its ending due to this premature reveal.

The film also leaves a few questions up in the air. Early in the movie, before his fateful crash, Sam sees apparitions, one a female ghost sitting in his chair. Once you find out the answer to the mystery, it becomes hard to figure out what purpose these sightings served. All it did was further convolute an already somewhat complicated tale.

Still, Moon is an engaging movie throughout. There's a beautiful silence when Sam is out on the moon doing his duties, calm and peaceful, yet hauntingly eerie. The natural wonder of space and its mysteries are a perfect backdrop for any sci-fi tale and Moon uses that to its fullest extent, regardless of some minor headaches along the way.

The first half of the film had the makings of a masterpiece, a film destined to be on many top ten lists once the holidays rolled around, but the latter half, while still good, shatters that dream. Don't let that deter you from seeing it though. Moon is one of the better sci-fi movies to be released in recent memory and it deserves a look.

Moon receives 4/5

BDK/Beard Podcast Love

I've been sitting here staring at this blank canvas for a while now because I do one of these posts every week and there are only so many ways I can say, "Listen to the podcast." I first tried to come up with something funny, but it was just stupid. Then I tried to tell a story, but it wasn't interesting. Then I decided to do this and dammit, it's my third attempt and it's staying. I don't think I have it in me to erase this and start again because I fear I may break down in tears due to my inability to be creative. So deal with it losers.

Anyway, it's another week and I have another podcast to share with you all. This week, BDK and myself review The Hangover, Land of the Lost and a film that nobody seems to have heard of, My Life in Ruins. You can read my reviews by navigating this incredibly simple blog (or by clicking here, here and here) and you can check out BDK's written reviews over at his website. But before you do that, listen to two sexy men bitching about how much things suck.

BDK and the Beard review June 5th film releases: The Hangover, Land of the Lost and My Life in Ruins.

Unfortunately, It Didn't Stay Lost

In honor of the new Will Ferrell movie, Land of the Lost, the Sci-Fi Channel recently played a marathon of the original 1970's television series. I knew I was going to see the film so I thought I'd check out the source material to see what I was in for. I watched about ten minutes of it before I had to change the channel. It was that bad. However, after seeing the movie, I've reached a denouement. I say this in complete honesty. I would watch the complete series of the original show before watching this travesty ever again.

Will Ferrell plays Dr. Rick Marshall, a paleontologist who uses his Tachyon Meter, which doesn't take you forward or backward through time, but sideways, to propel himself through a space vortex, landing him in the Land of the Lost. Sucked through the vortex with him are Will (Danny McBride) and the lovely Holly (Anna Friel). There they meet Cha-Ka (Jorma Taccone), who journeys along with them as they meet a host of colorful creatures and attempt to find the misplaced Tachyon Meter that will take them home.

Land of the Lost is hands down one of the most idiotic movies I've had to sit through in quite some time. It's part romance, part sci-fi, part adventure, part comedy, and all stupid. I haven't been so fidgety in a movie in years and I couldn't wait to get out of the theater. Like a kid frantically searching for his inhaler, Land of the Lost runs about wildy, grasping at air in the hopes that something will save it from its moronic story, shoddy special effects and painfully unfunny humor. It isn't just bad, it's an utter disaster.

Like its competition, The Hangover (read my review here), Land of the Lost pushes story to the wayside in favor of quick jokes and even quicker transitions. The difference, however, is that The Hangover is actually, you know, funny. Land of the Lost is not, mostly due to its dull gags, including a recurring joke where Cha-Ka grabs the private parts of anyone nearby. The movie is only about an hour and a half, but it feels triple that length due to its vapid drollery, which results in an endless cycle of patience testing shtick, of which only 13 year old boys and die hard Ferrell fans will be able to withstand.

I recognize that this is a movie to be taken lightly, but is it really too much to ask for at least an attempt at making a quality product? Land of the Lost is lazily put together with middling special effects and problems so apparent, you'll be shocked that the filmmakers let them slip through into the final product. In one scene, Dr. Marshall is being chased by a T-Rex, so he hops in a limo and crawls forward while the dinosaur crashes down on top. Seconds later, in the very next shot, he's hundreds of yards away, somehow escaping his inevitable death trap.

Additionally, Ferrell was unconvincing as a world renowned paleontologist who has figured out a way to travel to alternate dimensions because, quite simply, scientists do not act the way he does in this movie. He is a one note actor, never switching his style up from movie to movie and it's become tiresome. He's had some genuine hits, as well as some stinkers, but this is hands down the biggest pile of crap he's ever had his name attached to. He's not interesting, he's not that great of an actor and he's not even that funny. It's time to move on.

There were times during the flick when I thought, "You know, this isn't entirely bottom of the barrel," but then a monumentally asinine sequence would immediately follow and that thought would quickly get displaced. Rarely do I give out such a low score unless I truly feel it's deserving and there's none more deserving than this. Land of the Lost is a stain on cinema and is destined to go down as one of the very worst films of 2009.

Land of the Lost receives 0/5

The Hangover is Hysterical

If you're of age (and maybe even if you aren't), chances are you've had a crazy night where you had too much to drink, completely blacked out and was told of your wild escapades by your friends after the fact. Have I ever had an experience like this? Of course not. I'm an angel. Alcohol has never touched these lips. (I've also never cursed, lied, farted or cheated on a test.) Unfortunately, the guys in The Hangover aren't like me and they're about to have the most chaotic day of their lives. Fortunately for us, we get to come along for the ride and believe me, you won't want to miss it.

Doug (Justin Bartha) is about to get married, but what type of friends would Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) be if they didn't give him one more night of freedom by throwing an outrageous bachelor party for him? And what better place to go than Vegas? So the four guys pack their bags and drive on down. Once they get there, they all gather on the roof of their hotel and take a shot to kick things off. The next thing they know, they're waking up in their hotel room with a tiger, a baby and no recollection of what happened the night before. Even worse, Doug is missing. He gets married in 24 hours, so Phil, Stu and Alan have to find him.

Here's the great thing about The Hangover. It's obviously fictional, featuring a ridiculous string of events that would never happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time, but it feels realistic. Where Doug is located is the big mystery and the solution seems legit, like it could actually happen in real life. I could easily see a few guys who are completely messed up doing what they did and then forgetting about it. It takes the absurdity of the situation and makes it practical.

That, in itself, is quite impressive from a narrative standpoint. Rarely has a story so preposterous felt so credible. However, what it's missing is heart. I've long said that the best comedies have emotion to them and The Hangover is sorely lacking. I never connected with the characters and I didn't care about what happened to them. Where is Doug? It hardly mattered. This movie is a nonstop onslaught of jokes, but with little to no downtime, no room was left for feeling. Most of the time, I was laughing too much to care, but the best comedies crack you up while also tugging at your heartstrings. The Hangover nailed the former, but lacked the latter.

Because of the endless procession of visual gags and dirty jokes, there were moments in the movie where it would hit a standstill because it was trying too hard to be funny, as was the case with the Mike Tyson cameo, which felt forced and unneeded. It bombards you with jokes left and right, which leaves plenty of room for failure. Fortunately, more often than not, it's hilarious.

Although Doug is missing most of the movie, the other three guys, played by Helms, Galifianakis and Cooper, were terrific together, with great comedic chemistry and playing off each other constantly. They produce so many laughs that you'll have a hard time breathing during certain scenes. Although they were all great, it was Galifianakis who stole the show, playing the dimwitted brother of the bride who provides some great lines that will be quoted endlessly by fans for years to come.

I've purposely been a little vague in my description of the film's many traits because I dare not give anything away from this gem of a comedy. I desperately want to keep typing, detailing some of the best parts, but my elaboration would only impede your enjoyment. You know you're watching a great movie when you couldn't care less about the story, but still want to keep watching because you're curious as to what insane contingency the characters will get themselves into next. The Hangover features great performances, hysterical jokes and one of the most shocking things you've ever seen in a movie. You'll know exactly what I'm talking about when you see it. It's vulgar, offensive and crude. So yeah, I loved it.

The Hangover receives 4.5/5

My Life in Ruins an Unexpected Delight

My Life in Ruins. If you're anything like me, you're asking, "What the hell is that?" Before last week, I was unaware this movie even existed, assuming it got lost in the wake of the big budget summer blockbusters. Besides, what place does a low key romantic comedy have in a cavalcade of action flicks anyway? But lo and behold, here one comes resting comfortably on my schedule of movies to see and whaddya know? It's pretty damn good.

My Life in Ruins first introduces us to Georgia (Nia Vardalos), an employee of Pangloss Tours, a tour company that takes a bus full of tourists and shows them the wonders of Greece for about a week, exploring during the day and resting in a hotel at night. As the double entendre title implies, Georgia seems to spend her life in the ruins of ancient Greece, attempting to teach snobby tourists who have no desire to learn about the wonders of their surroundings. Her life is also, metaphorically, in ruins. She hates her job, performing the same mundane routine day after day and it is beginning to become too much for her. She's falling apart, but when a new group shows up for what she thinks will be her last tour, all of that changes thanks to Irv (Richard Dreyfuss), a timeworn widower who points her down the right path.

Like a dense fog, this movie is thickened with so many clichés that it's sometimes hard to see past them. It's a rudimentary exercise in filmmaking, derivative of other, better films. There are some ridiculous scenes of Georgia's love interest, Poupi (Alexis Georgoulis), including the play-guitar-down-by-the-river scene and the obligatory slow motion, wet and shirtless shot, accompanied by a quick flick of the hair, among others. It's about as clichéd as cliché can get, but these can easily be looked past when the film is as charming as it is. For all of its mistakes, My Life in Ruins is packed to the brim with heart, something direly missing in many a movie these days.

Much of the allure of the film comes from Richard Dreyfuss who is just delightful as the old, grieving widower who quotes words of wisdom and helps Georgia through her difficulties. The wonders of his character come from the life he's led that, unfortunately, we don't get to see. He is aged, in declining health and he's been through the wringer. He knows what it's like to struggle, learning how it feels to have loved and lost. As he says in the movie, he woke up every day for 28 years smiling because he woke up next to his wife. He takes his infinite wisdom, much like an elderly grandfather, and passes it on to Georgia, taking her up almost as one of his children, caring for her and wishing for her nothing but happiness. Sure, this type of stock character has been used in many films, but Dreyfuss puts a nice comedic spin on him and makes an otherwise generic personality into something much more.

Unexpectedly, the movie is actually quite funny and you'll be taken aback by the surprising amount of humor it, although not every gag hits its mark. There is a recurring joke about one of the passengers, a kleptomaniac who steals something at every opportunity. The problem is that it isn't funny the first time you see her do it, much less the other 15 times. If anything, it reminds you how flawed people are. The great thing about this film is that it's an escape. It takes you away from real life for an hour and a half and lets you spend time with this genuinely fun and likable (albeit unrealistic) group of people. This character just didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the bunch.

The main love affair between Georgia and Poupi feels exhausted as well, never working the way the film hopes. Poupi rarely talks and the two barely spend any time with each other before reaching that romantic spark, so the whole ordeal feels out of place and misguided. More time with these two was necessary to create a competent love story.

My Life in Ruins is sometimes redundant, frequently cheesy and a little overbearing in its sappiness, but for what it's worth, it always redeems itself almost immediately by landing a funny joke. What can I say? The cheesiness won me over. I cared about these characters by the end of the movie and I wanted to see them happy. It may be one of the most unoriginal films to be released in recent memory, but some strong performances, natural charm and seriously funny jokes make this one work. My Life in Ruins is recycled entertainment, but you'll be having too much fun to care.

My Life in Ruins receives 3.5/5

Another BDK/Beard Podcast!

Ahh, yes. I'm back with another podcast, shamelessly plugging my work on BDK's Movie Show (listen to it Friday nights on 106.7 WJFK or on wjfk.com from 7-10pm!) although most of my work consists of menial, boring tasks too mundane to type out here. But I also get to do weekly podcasts with Mr. BDK reviewing the new movies. It's kind of like Ebert & Roeper, except with farting noises.

This week, we talk about two lesser known independent flicks, The Brothers Bloom and The Girlfriend Experience and two massive summer releases, Drag Me to Hell and Up, all of which you can read on this here blog (boy howdy!) by navigating through its extremely complicated (read: simple and lazily made) design structure. So click that link below and get to listening! And don't forget to read BDK's movie reviews by clicking here so you can send him an e-mail explaining how my opinions are better!

BDK and the Beard discuss May 29th new film releases: Up, Drag Me to Hell, The Brothers Bloom and The Girlfriend Experience.

As a special bonus, check out an interview BDK and myself conducted with Pete Docter, the director of Up on-air last Friday!

Pixar Does It Again With Up

It's hard to believe that nearly 15 years have passed since Pixar was first introduced to the movie world via their groundbreaking film, Toy Story. Now, after a string of successful hits, including one of last year's best movies, Wall-E, the question is this: Does Pixar still have the magic that has captured the spirits and imaginations of children and adults alike after all these years? As if there were any doubt, the answer to that question is "yes." Up is one of the best movies of 2009.

Up begins with young Carl (Ed Asner), an adventurer who looks up to famed explorer, Charles Muntz. One day, he meets Ellie, a fellow adventurer who dreams of traveling to South America, to a place called Paradise Falls, which he promises to take her to. Flash forward years later and the two are happily married. A montage takes us through their entire lives, ending with Ellie's death, leaving Carl sad and alone. Construction is taking place around Carl's house, but he refuses to leave it because of his fond memories of his life with Ellie. After a brief lapse in judgment, whacking a worker with his cane, he is forced into a retirement home. However, before that fateful day where he must leave, he ties thousands of balloons to his house, which take him off the ground and carry him away. Unfortunately, Russell (Jordan Nagai), a Wilderness Explorer hoping to grab his last badge for helping the elderly, has come along for the ride.

It was difficult writing that plot synopsis because the reasoning behind Carl's adventure, which is the whole basis of the movie, deals with the passing of his wife, which is played out in only a few minutes through a brief montage. How can you possibly explain a montage? I won't even attempt, but I will say that it's one of the most beautiful, yet heartbreaking things you'll see all year. Some movies spend hours trying to get you to feel sadness at the tragedy that occurs at the end of a film. Up does it in minutes more effectively. One minute you're shining with joy at their marriage, the next sympathizing with them at the miscarriage of a child, then moved to tears at the passing of Ellie. In five minutes, I had already felt the plethora of emotions that other, lesser films hope to convey. It's here that you know you're watching something truly special.

And that's only the first block of the movie. Up packs more imagination and heart into its first 30 minutes than anything I've seen so far this year. It's impossible not to gaze in awe at the unnumberable amount of balloons whisking this old man away for this huge adventure. It will take even the most jaded of film-goers and turn them into giddy little children, overjoyed at the wonders of its artistry and it will remind cinema lovers why they go to movies in the first place. Animation or not, Up is simply astonishing.

Its story isn't just a mindless fairy tale for children either. It's about life and its intricacies, many of which we don't appreciate until they are taken away. Carl takes this trip to fulfill Ellie's dream of reaching Paradise Falls, but even while on this epic adventure, encountering things he's never encountered before, seeing majestic landscapes most only dream of, he realizes that it means nothing without his wife. He always knew of the tremendous love he held for her, but felt like he never fulfilled his promise of taking her on a grand adventure, but then he realizes that their life together was an adventure, the best they ever had. Carl is a lost, lonely man at the beginning of the film, but by the end, you feel like he's gotten a new lease on life, thankful for his time with his wife, but moving on, creating new relationships and living life to its fullest.

As referenced by the promotional material, Up is Pixar's first 3D movie. Having seen this twice now, once in 2D and once in 3D, I've come to the conclusion that the 3D isn't needed. The problem with 3D is that the glasses are tinted, which makes the movie look less vibrant and colorful, and Up's animation is stellar, so the inhibiting glasses don't work to the film's advantage. What's more is that the 3D in Up is serviceable, but unneeded, seeing as how many of the film's scenes didn't utilize 3D, noted by my tendency to tilt my glasses off to see what the picture looked like without them.

Regardless of how you see it, you'll be treated to a warmhearted, funny, touching and brilliant film that is practically guaranteed to move you to tears. I saw this movie for the first time in mid-April and was not allowed to discuss it until now. Walking out of it all that time ago, I knew I liked it, thinking a solid four out of five score, but after a month plus of reflection and sitting through it a second time, my mind free of analytical thinking, I've realized how special this movie is. Is it as good as Wall-E? No, but if you compare every animated movie to that, you're bound to be disappointed. As such, looking at this as a standalone film, it is spectacular, a real treat for anybody, regardless of age. Up is a wonderful piece of entertainment and one of the best movies of 2009.

Up receives 5/5

Drag Me to Hell a Mixed Bag

Every so often, there's a movie release that gets rave reviews, loved by critics and fans alike that, quite simply, doesn't live up to the hype. Drag Me to Hell is one of those movies. It's been over two decades since the director, Sam Raimi, last bloodied up our screens with the terrific Evil Dead II, and his return to horror is a middling attempt at best, a disappointing mix of cheap jump scares and laughable scenarios.

Alison Lohman plays Christine, a loan officer at a local bank who is dying to land the coveted assistant manager's position over a competing co-worker. After talking to her boss, who tells her that the job requires making "tough decisions," a gypsy named Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver) walks in begging for a third extension on her mortgage. Determined to impress her boss by taking some initiative, Christine makes the decision herself that another extension is out of the question. Mrs. Ganush, shamed by Christine in front of the crowded bank, puts a curse on her, which gives her three days until the ground underneath her opens up and she is dragged screaming down to Hell.

It's a rare occurrence these days that we get a good, scary horror movie. It seems that the people producing these movies simply don't understand what makes a movie scary. Instead of relying on ambiance, they tend to resort to jump scares, which are almost never frightening. In a sense, Drag Me to Hell is in horror limbo, using a combination of both, making this one giant mixed bag of mediocrity.

One big problem with the film is its reliance on jump scares, of which are in abundance. The common misconception is that these are scary, but just because I'm flinching in my seat doesn't mean I'm scared. On the contrary, these are merely startling. Place anyone in a quiet place and then create a loud bang and I guarantee you'll get the same reaction. Genuine fright is about the lead up to the scare, not the second or two afterwards.

In all fairness though, while many jump scenes fell flat because of this overused gimmick, some worked tremendously well. There were certain scenes where my heart was pounding prior to the scare, not after it occurred, which is mostly due to the fact that you never knew what was coming. Christine is cursed. Unseen forces attack her, she begins to see things and it only gets worse as time goes on. At any time, something could happen, so some key scenes have you on edge during their entirety, an impressive feat.

However, this movie is indubitably campy, bordering on the edge of absurdity, with laughable moments spread throughout. At one point in the movie, Mrs. Ganush is attacking Christine and her teeth fall out, so she latches her mouth onto Christine's face and starts to gum her to death. Another scene depicts a bloody nose, which outrageously begins to spew all over the place, including on her boss, who asks, "Did it get in my mouth?" I felt like I was watching a spoof movie because that's where these gags should have been. They weren't scary or funny. They were just stupid.

And that is its largest pratfall--its desire to be scary, but humorous and campy at the same time. One scene, you're thoroughly jittered and the next you're wondering where that feeling went. If you intend to be knowingly campy, then do it. If you intend to be legitimately scary, then you can't be campy. It's incredibly hard to effectively mix true terror with humor and few movies have succeeded because if you're laughing, then that consistency of fear that you should be feeling gets swept away.

Drag Me to Hell is stylishly directed by Raimi, who ends the movie on a high note (although you have to be pretty dim to not see it coming) and the acting and effects were just fine, especially for a lower budget film like this, but the majority of it is comprised of cheap jump scares and an inconsistent tone that works to the detriment of its overall quality. It isn't necessarily bad, it's just forgettable, a fate far worse. It's a close call in the end, but I cannot recommend Drag Me to Hell.

Drag Me to Hell receives 2.5/5