Thursday, December 4, 2008

Top 10 Movies to Watch on Christmas

For some, Christmas is the time of year when families get together to exchange gifts so they can all be promptly returned to the store for something else. For others, it's a time to reflect on the blessings they've had over the years. And for everybody leftover, Christmas is nothing more than an annoying parade of happy-go-lucky imbeciles who need to wipe that stupid smile off their faces. Luckily, I'm here to provide you with the Ten Best Movies to Watch on Christmas and I've included films that target all of those groups. With these movies, you'll see families learn the true meaning of the holiday, a man realize that life is priceless, and a psychopath in a Santa suit murder people who have been naughty. 'Tis the season!

10. Home Alone-The film every person my age grew up with, Home Alone was the epitome of kid power in the early 90's. I don't know one person who doesn't love this movie (although I'm only slightly fond of it). There was just something about watching another child take down the bad guys that made the kids in my generation cheer. Plus, the grown up representation was pretty dimwitted. Of course, the two robbers are complete idiots (they'd have to be to be foiled by one kid), but the parents aren't too smart themselves. We all know the set-up. Kevin, played by Macaulay Culkin, is left home alone when his parents forget about him and take a trip to France for the holidays. What kind of parents forget about their children, especially on the holidays? You would think that once they got in the car, they'd realize, "Hmm, one of our children is missing." Apparently, these parents don't love poor old Kevin. Although the ending of the film is a happy one, a more appropriate ending would have been for child services to show up and take Kevin away from his neglectful and stupid parents. Regardless, Home Alone is a fun enough film with enough nostalgia to make it onto this list.

9. Silent Night, Deadly Night-Nothing says "Merry Christmas!" like a deranged psychopath in a Santa suit going on a killing spree. Released in 1984, in the wake of the financial success of Halloween, Silent Night, Deadly Night was only one of many horror films centered around a holiday (others included April Fool's Day, My Bloody Valentine, New Year's Evil, and Friday the 13th to name a few). Call me cynical if you like, but I can only take so much holiday cheer. The holidays can get pretty depressing and sometimes you just have to see something that throws the middle finger up to all of those annoying passers-bys who can't help but wish you a happy holiday when all you really want is to be left alone. It's a terrible movie, but its totally awesome title alone earns it a spot on this list. For all of you who find yourselves jaded on Christmas and just want some good old exploitative violence to keep you sane, Silent Night, Deadly Night will probably do the trick quite efficiently.

8. The Nightmare Before Christmas-On my "Top 10 Movies to Watch on Halloween" list (which you can read here), I placed this animated masterpiece on there stating that it's the perfect holiday film not only for Halloween, but also Christmas. And sure enough, here it is on this list as well, and rightfully so. It's the only movie I've ever seen that has blended two holidays and created a beautiful, engaging movie that can be cherished year after year. In fact, out of all of the films I have in my collection, it's one of the only ones I still watch on a regular basis. Although it is a PG rated animated movie, it can get a little dark, so in this regard, it may not be the film you're going to want to bring the family together to watch. But if you appreciate movies and want a film perfectly suitable for Christmas that isn't bogged down by all that sappy sentimentality, The Nightmare Before Christmas will do just fine.

7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas-A lot of audiences and critics weren't big fans of this movie, but honestly, I have no idea why. I loved it. Would I say it's better than the cartoon? Of course not, but it's still a damn fine holiday movie that the whole family can enjoy. Although there are certainly better Christmas movies on this list, How the Grinch Stole Christmas is probably the most accessible to a full family because it will keep the kiddies entertained thanks to Jim Carrey's brilliant work as the Grinch. He portrays the evil, yet oddly charming, character about as well as anybody could have hoped and brings a certain human aspect to him that I felt was missing in the cartoon. Still, there are downfalls to the film, mainly Whoville and the Who civilians. While Carrey and his cavern are fun and imaginative, Whoville looks like a set and the inhabitants in them are largely dull and lifeless, minus the sweet performance by Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who. However, Ron Howard's usual stylish direction really pushes this movie over the top and creates a largely enjoyable experience. You can scoff at me all you want, but How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a fun movie that charms me every time. Check out the cartoon if you can, but this is a terrific substitute if you can't.

6. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)-When I decided to do this top 10 list, I was researching what films to put on here and although I had seen most of the true classics, this was one I had missed somewhere along the way. After having watched it, I can see where it gets its classic status and rightfully deserves a spot on this list. The film is full of charm and provides the simple message that you have to believe for things to come true. Edmund Gwenn, who played good old Kris Kringle, was fun and believable and is the main reason this film succeeds. After a while, I forgot I was watching a man playing Santa and just started seeing the jolly old fat man. It's not perfect though. Eventually, Santa ends up in a loony bin because he refuses to tell people he is someone he isn't, which is anybody other than St. Nick. It then goes to trial to decide whether he is stable enough to live in a normal society. It drags a bit and it takes the sweet and innocent wonderment of the first half and turns it into a courtroom battle. Still, don't let that dissuade you from watching it this Christmas. Miracle on 34th Street truly is a classic.

5. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation-Chevy Chase shines in this tale about an entire family getting together for one major Christmas celebration only for everything to go completely and horribly wrong. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the definitive Christmas comedy to watch. This film existed when National Lampoon could be counted on to provide quality films with a little heart. Now, their films rely on excessive vulgarity and gross out moments and it simply isn't funny. Having just watched this again for the first time in probably ten years, I was surprised at how well it holds up. I laughed out loud watching this more than I have in many of the recent comedies to be released. However, the film does have its problems. At times, the whole routine can feel a little slap-dash and the families can get kind of annoying. Plus, the film is called Christmas Vacation, but the family never actually goes on vacation. Talk about a glaring flaw. Nonetheless, this is a great comedy to watch on Christmas and a classic in its own right.

4. Black Christmas (1974)-Yes, I included another Christmas themed slasher movie on this list. Sue me. However, this one is different. Black Christmas is actually pretty good and is considered a true classic in the genre. It's a slasher that pre-dates Halloween and still manages to provide a few chills, which is a feat all its own. Believe it or not, Black Christmas is directed by Bob Clark, the same man who directed another holiday classic which will appear later on this list. Don't get this genre piece confused with the truly awful 2006 remake. If you accidentally rent that one instead of this, prepare for a painful experience. But if you do grab this one, be sure to keep your expectations in check and remember that this was a slasher film before the slasher boom in the 80's. In that regard, this is a solid genre effort that works wonders on Christmas for the people who prefer something scary over anything merry.

3. Die Hard-You're probably asking yourself, "Die Hard? Why would that be on the list? It's not a Christmas movie!" On the contrary, it takes place on Christmas Eve where John McClane takes a trip to Los Angeles to spend the holidays with his wife. Most people seem to forget that the story is indeed wrapped around Christmas. It's an honest mistake because considering how much ass this movie kicks, you tend to forget about the holiday theme and get absorbed in its ample amounts of awesomeness. Die Hard is one of the greatest action flicks ever made and it still holds up to this day. If you go back and look at classic action movies (like First Blood for example), they just scream 80's. The acting is pretty lousy and they're very cheesy (although First Blood is still cool). But Die Hard could have easily been made this year and it would be just as gripping and exciting as it was when it was released in 1988. It was the film that made Bruce Willis a star and this holiday season, you should take some time to appreciate the actor's humble beginnings and watch him lay the smack down on some unsuspecting terrorists.

2. It's A Wonderful Life-Out of all of the films on this list, It's A Wonderful Life is probably the most cherished of them all. I've thrown the word "classic" around a few times on this list, but this film really is in the truest sense of the word. Without a doubt, this is the most emotional and uplifting film out of all of them and one of the greatest holiday-themed movies ever made. James Stewart does a marvelous job as George Bailey, a man who doesn't realize he's had a blessed life until his guardian angel comes down to show him what his town would be like had he never been born. This premise is extremely touching and you can't help but shed a tear for life and the love of family around the holidays. In one way or another we've all done something along the way that has made a positive impact on somebody else, so this film can relate to us all. That is its greatest strength. However, I put it as number two on the list because it takes way too long to actually get going. The film is two hours and twelve minutes long, but the life changing experience George has is only the last half hour or so of the movie. I understand everything before that is important to the set-up of this final climactic moment, but I still feel that it could have been tightened up just a tad. But don't let that stop you from watching this. It's A Wonderful Life truly is a classic and an excellent choice for this holiday season.

1. A Christmas Story-Remember that movie I was telling you about that was directed by the same person who did Black Christmas? Well, here it is. That's right. The same guy who gave us this intensely sweet and endearing Christmas picture also contributed a brutal, often frightening Christmas slasher. What can I say? The man knew how to work the holiday. A cinematic masterpiece, A Christmas Story is what all holiday movies should strive to be. Having not watched this since I was a young child, I popped it in again recently and was taken aback by how involved I got. Peter Billingsley plays the young Ralphie, who desperately wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas, amazingly well. He embodied the spirit of every child who has ever been through a Christmas and wanted something so badly that the day would be ruined if they didn't get it. And just like every child, he gets punished for being naughty (including his first slip of the F-word around his parents). No kid could watch this movie and not relate to young Ralphie. Even now as an adult, I looked at Ralphie and saw myself. It's really a testament to how excellent this film is and how well it has held up over the years. Top on to this that it is quite funny and you have a holiday treasure that is suitable for all ages (don't worry parents--you don't actually hear the F-word). If you truly want to have Christmas at the movies, pop this bad boy in and enjoy the spirit of the holiday.

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