The Men Who Stare at Goats a Quirky Miss

The Men Who Stare at Goats is a title that perfectly encapsulates, and sets the tone for, the latest George Clooney movie. By simply looking at the odd name, you wouldn't know what it is really about. Having now seen it, I'm still not so sure. It's not a confusing movie. It's just so damn weird. This, dear readers, is not your typical cinema going experience.

The movie opens with the text insisting that, "More of this is true than you would believe," and it's right. Ewan McGregor plays Bob, a journalist in Ann Arbor, Michigan. His wife has just left him so he, as he puts it, "goes to war," though what he goes through isn't quite what you'd envision as "war." While in Kuwait, he meets Lyn Cassady, played by George Clooney, a super spy trained by US Army Intelligence. As Lyn tells him, the military has a secret organization of soldiers who are being trained in paranormal abilities and the branch is called "Project Jedi." Originally started by Bill Django, played by Jeff Bridges, it was put into place to attempt to win wars through peace, not violence. Though skeptical, Bob goes with Lyn to Iraq and he discovers things he never would have believed to be true.

Essentially, this is a based-on-actual-events story about a branch of the military who claims to be able to see into the future, know where people are just by looking at a picture and kill with their minds. How much of this is true? I don't know. The realist in me wants to say none, but God knows the government has done crazier things. I'm certain nobody actually has psychic abilities, but the government doing something stupid? That doesn't seem so far fetched.

The Men Who Stare at Goats is like a wave at its peak before it comes crashing down. It starts out powerful, carving out a funny niche in the cinematic landscape in its own quirky way, but as it goes on, its force dwindles. At one point, it stops being interesting. At another, it stops being funny. And at another, it stops being quirky and crosses the line into insipidity, climaxing in an Army LSD trip out, which is moderately amusing, but offers a poor conclusion to this frivolous story.

Although none of its ideas fully come around, this movie is, if anything, a parody of our actual government and military, who talk of efforts to create peace, but then go to war as a means to achieve it. It's a contradictory philosophy and this movie hypothesizes, what if the military actually tried to create peace by actually implementing peaceful methods?

Later in the movie, the idea of men having a natural bloodlust is brought up, as evidenced by a late scene where Lyn is asked to kill a goat with his mind. Although he doesn't want to, he can feel the goat's pulse within him and he wants to see if he can do it, and he does. But again, it never follows through. At the end of the film, all I could wonder was, what was the point of this thing?

Is it a spoof? Is it a satire? Or is it none of the above? I couldn't tell. Luckily, I still found the writing to be witty, at least for a while. Though funny, the whole of the experience is uneven because its oddball tone doesn't carry through the entire picture. Even at a brisk 96 minutes, it runs out of steam.

Given the name of the secret military branch, "Project Jedi," and one of the stars of the movie, Ewan McGregor, you can expect a myriad of lame Star Wars jokes that completely shatter your suspension of disbelief and pull you out of the film. Although the whole Jedi thing makes sense narratively (the super spies having similar powers to the Jedis in the Star Wars films), when you have McGregor, who played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars Episodes I, II, and III, recite lines of dialogue like, "The force is strong with this one," you've become too self aware and cross a line into annoyance.

Still, the acting is sharp, particularly Clooney, who plays a character wackier than any he's played before and he manages to elicit laughs through the simplest visual cues, like a subtle flinch of an eye. He does a marvelous job.

However, The Men Who Stare at Goats is not recommendable. Had it ended with a decent laugh or had a few minutes trimmed off the back-end, I might have been more inclined to give it my endorsement, but as it stands, the movie falls just shy of reaching that coveted threshold.

The Men Who Stare at Goats receives 2.5/5

The Box an Uninteresting Mystery

Director Richard Kelly, most known for his work on the terrific Donnie Darko, landed narrative gold when he optioned the rights to the short story "Button, Button" by Richard Matheson because it has a great premise. What if you were given the option to gain one million dollars, but in doing so, you would recklessly kill someone in the process? This amazing idea has finally been translated to the big screen and it's more or less a mess. In an interview I recently conducted with Kelly, he explained that act one was pretty much already written. All he had to do was attach an act two and three to the narrative. Consequently, there is a distinct point in The Box where the intrigue from act one ends and the stupidity from the rest of the movie begins.

We are introduced to the characters as they lay in bed early one morning. Their sleep is interrupted by the ring of the doorbell and when they get to the door, they see a car pulling away with a mysterious box sitting on their doorstep. Attached is a note saying that at 5:00pm, a certain Mr. Steward (Frank Langella) will call upon them. Inside the box is a button and as promised, Steward arrives that night, with part of his face missing, and explains to Norma (Cameron Diaz) that her and her husband, Arthur (James Marsden), have a choice. They can either move on with their lives and continue with their money problems or push the button, which will have two results: 1) Someone, somewhere in the world that they do not know will die and 2) they will receive a cash payment of one million dollars. They have 24 hours to decide.

(I am going to reveal somewhere in this review what seems like a major spoiler, but it's not because it happens very early on, but if you care to not have anything ruined for you, stop reading now.)

Already, despite the cool premise, this movie runs into problems. It takes place in Virginia in 1976 and because of the setting, Norma and Arthur are not dealing with the current economic crisis. Their own financial troubles, which are poorly spelled out, stem only from their excessive spending. As examples, their son is in private school and Arthur drives an expensive Corvette. There are obvious alternatives to pulling themselves out of their financial funk. How about not driving your super expensive car or placing your son in a public school?

Furthermore, Arthur works for NASA, an organization I can only assume pays well, and he helped design the Viking, a camera sent up to space to take photos of Mars. If he's important enough of a scientist/engineer to work on such a valuable machine, the only possible reason he isn't making enough money is because he spends most of his days working on some type of blubbery pedal extremity to help his wife's gimpy foot rather than, you know, doing his job.

Being set in the 70's doesn't keep Norma from staying home either, however. She has a job herself as a teacher at the private school her son goes to. The point is that you never feel like the couple's money is dwindling. As far as I could tell, they were financially sound.

Of course, they end up pushing the button anyway and The Box starts to spin out of control into a twisty, turny not-nearly-as-intricate-as-it-thinks-it-is mystery picture that loses the luster set by the initial premise. What could have been an interesting, dramatic psychological examination of these two turns into a by-the-numbers affair with a twist that is either incredibly smart or highly unlikely. I can't decide which. I was more interested in the moral consequences that come with such a choice, not the action mystery that unfolds after, but the film drops the whole morality angle once the button is pushed.

Everything comes together in such a poor fashion that The Box ends up empty and meaningless. The actors have little chemistry together, the admittedly well done score is nonetheless far too prominent and overpowers the rest of the film, much of the dialogue is laughable and Mr. Steward's "employees," of which he claims to have many, are all too easy to spot because they either scarily stare through windows, manically laugh or speak in clever hyperbole like, "Someone pushing your buttons?" that gets annoying by the time the credits roll around.

I snickered at so much of this movie because it takes itself deathly serious, but comes across as just stupid. A woman sitting a few rows behind me, annoyed from the audience laughter, proclaimed late in the movie, "This is not a comedy!" It may as well have been.

The Box receives 1.5/5

The Fourth Kind a Unique Storytelling Experiment

Beginning in the 1960's, the city of Nome, Alaska has witnessed the disappearances of a number of its citizens. The circumstances surrounding them have been clouded in an air of mystery and despite many investigations by the FBI, nobody has been found. The new film, The Fourth Kind, hypothesizes that perhaps no evidence exists because the disappearances are not of this world. It poses the argument that aliens could have abducted these people and it supports itself through the use of "archival" footage that is shown side by side with the actors reenacting it. Though it is not without its share of weaknesses, this approach to storytelling is unique and interesting and I liked it. It adds something to the picture that other science fiction movies are missing and really convinces you that these events actually occurred.

The movie follows psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler, played by Milla Jovovich, as she works with her patients, helping them recall memories that they have been forced to forget. Through hypnosis, she allows them to envision their abductions, all of which have striking similarities. At night, they all have seen an owl staring at them. Unfortunately, recalling these events has caused certain unexplainable activity to occur and Tyler quickly finds herself in trouble with things outside of this realm.

The Fourth Kind begins unlike any other film I've seen. Jovovich walks directly towards the camera, introduces herself and explains the premise that I've outlined above. She then goes on to say, "Some of what you are about to see is extremely disturbing." And indeed, it is. There are three or four moments in the film guaranteed to crawl under your skin. They are handled with such finesse and subtlety that it will surely chill you to the core. It brilliantly shows you just enough to get your imagination going before some type of alien interference scrambles the picture.

With that said, there are some overall silly moments in the film that don't bode well with its somber and serious attitude, like an early shot of an owl that lingers for far too long, but the overall quality of the picture is quite good. It gets a little manic during certain sections and the all too present music forebodes of something evil to come, but the structure and design of the film is spectacular.

There's a certain suspension of disbelief one must hand over when viewing a movie like this, but at times, I found it tough to grant even that. Anybody with a brain knows that hypnosis doesn't really do much of anything, much less bring back non-existent memories of your forgotten alien abduction, but the seriousness of the procedure is the crutch of the film. I was willing to give it at least that much and go along with the absurd notion of hypnosis. What I wasn't willing to grasp was the idea that the city sheriff could somehow connect the process to the terrible events that were happening. By his logic, she is responsible for the paralysis of one man and the killing spree of another because they were both hypnotized beforehand. I may have been able to go with the idea that hypnosis was something other than a load of crap, but this movie stretches it way past the point of credulity.

The Fourth Kind ends with Jovovich telling us that what we've seen is real and it is up to us to decide what we believe. Of course, it's not real and I don't believe a single moment of it. A quick Google search goes a long way to debunking this outlandish story. The Anchorage Daily News recently put out an article claiming that there are actually "no records of Abigail Tyler ever being licensed in any profession in Alaska." Another click of the mouse brought up the FBI ruling, which stated that the real life disappearances this film is based on were due to excessive drinking and harsh winters. It looks like the movie studio is simply trying to pull another Blair Witch Project on us.

No, this isn't real, but it's fun to pretend, isn't it?

The Fourth Kind receives 3.5/5

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!

(This review was originally published in the November 2, 2009 issue of Broadside. This is the original draft. The score at the end is new.)

There’s a game I play with my friends. It is always spur of the moment and it always comes about when we have a disagreement, when neither my friend nor I want to get up and do something. It is initiated by one quick sentence: “Let’s go, on shoot.” That game is Rock Paper Scissors, but to us, it is more than a game. It’s a way of life. It is sacred and the loser must do what is expected of him, no questions asked. Perhaps that is why I was so amused by the new mockumentary, The Flying Scissors, a film that puts a humorous satirical spin on the hallowed game.

The film follows the NRPSL (National Rock Paper Scissors League) as they prepare for the upcoming championship where dozens of regional winners from all over the nation will compete in upstate New York with the hope of being crowned the NRPSL champion.

Among the contestants are Leon Washington, played by Mike Britt, who uses vulgar trash talk to intimidate his opponents, Frank, played by Todd Susman, an aging man who has come down with arthritis in his RPS hand, making it increasingly difficult to compete, and more zany kooks that spend a little too much time thinking about the seemingly arbitrary game of Rock Paper Scissors.

Each contestant has their own way of preparing for the upcoming event. Leon records his swearing and plays it back to himself while others hire coaches and partake in training exercises that include crunching probability numbers, playing video games, doing cardio, and even wrestling alligators. How some of these translate to the game of Rock Paper Scissors I haven’t the slightest idea.

Not that it matters anyway. The Flying Scissors isn’t trying to wow you through story or emotional involvement. It only hopes to provide a silly, stupid, fun time for all, and it succeeds for a while, though it is limited in its appeal. There are only so many times you can watch someone enthusiastically throw rock before it begins to get dull.

Its biggest problems are that it doesn’t go anywhere unforeseen and it tends to drop certain side stories altogether. For example, the NRPSL’s rival is the Coin Toss Consortium, a coin flipping league, which is brought up only to serve as a very loose antithesis to the NRPSL, but it is quickly forgotten after a couple of brief scenes that don’t provide any extra depth to the film’s already flimsy story.

Combine this with the unnecessary, misplaced political jab and the fact that we never truly come to know or care about any of these characters and you have a movie that wears out its welcome far too quickly.

What The Flying Scissors does is take what would have been a hilarious short and stretches it to its breaking point. Nevertheless, it shows moments of inspiration, mocking the seriousness of big sporting events that in actuality hold just as little significance as a paltry Rock Paper Scissors match. In this regard, it is quite smart, but it never capitalizes on the satire and fails to say anything relevant about the sporting world.

The Flying Scissors is a moderately amusing, if a bit sporadic, little picture that will work as a good watch on a rainy weekend, but like playing an actual game of Rock Paper Scissors, once is enough.

The Flying Scissors receives 2.5/5

More Than a Game a Great Documentary

Following in the tradition of great basketball documentaries like Hoop Dreams and The Heart of the Game, More Than a Game is an inspiring, insightful and extremely well done sports documentary that details a true story with more excitement and drama than even the best fictional ones. Although I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is better than those aforementioned films, it is terrific nonetheless and should be seen by any film lover or basketball connoisseur.

More Than a Game is about the "Fab Five," a group of five guys in Akron, Ohio who came together under the guise of basketball to form everlasting friendships and prove themselves worthy to the world. It follows them from middle school up until the end of high school on their journey to call themselves national champions.

This is a movie that has quickly been dubbed as "the Lebron James documentary," but it is not and should not be labeled as such. It's easy to see why the filmmakers would promote James as the star (and I suspect they welcome the "Lebron James documentary" label) and it does indeed have a focus on him, but only when prudent to the story. It would be easy to simply show his skills on display, but it goes beyond that and never boosts his ego by concentrating on him when the story doesn't call for it. It isn't until James lands the cover of Sports Illustrated, has his face plastered all over ESPN and finds himself in a bit of controversy that the movie starts to discuss his individual impact on the team. As far as it is concerned, each person on the team is as vital a part to the story as James and I loved how it restrained itself from further worshipping him as the second coming of Michael Jordan.

Though it's hard to fault it for its tight, focused story, I wish it would have further explored the boys' relationships and societal issues that they were facing at the time. After middle school, all of them decide to not go to the all black high school in their town, but rather another one with a coach they felt would help them achieve their dreams, despite it being a predominantly white school. If the fact that they didn't go to the all black school is significant enough to bring up, why not delve into race relations? The movie may have rightfully restrained itself from bowing down to Lebron, but it shamefully restrained itself from creating relevant societal connections, all of which were right in front of them, but ignored.

Because of its simple structure and its desire to solely tell the story of a high school basketball team, More Than a Game severely limits itself in scope and size. Those who are not in love with the sport may not find much to enjoy here, but those who are will find themselves lost in the drama and spectacle that unfold onscreen. It's no Hoop Dreams, but More Than a Game is a serviceable basketball documentary that is well worth seeing.

More Than a Game receives 4/5

Amelia a Terrible Biopic

It's been said that there are certain roles an actor or actress can take to garner an awards nomination. One of those roles is as a real life person in a biopic. If that person's life ended in tragedy, even better! So in this day and age where so many biopics have already been produced, who else could possibly be potrayed by an actress desperate to climb back to the top of her rapidly descending career? Why, Amelia Earhart, that's who! Since her Oscar winning role in 2004's terrific Million Dollar Baby, Hilary Swank's career has hit a standstill, appearing in crap like The Reaping and P.S. I Love You. Now, she hopes to reclaim her Oscar status as Amelia Earhart in the newest biopic, Amelia, but this atrocity certainly isn't doing her any favors.

The film, quite obviously, follows Amelia Earhart as she attempts to become the first person to circumnavigate the globe. During her years prior to the trip, she meets George Putnam, played by Richard Gere, and eventually marries him. He, being the connoisseur he is, does all he can to fund Earhart's flights, though he knows in the back of his mind that he could one day lose her forever.

To continue on seems like a frivolous waste of time because we all know where this story is heading. All we could possibly ask is that the journey to that ending be full of emotion and grandeur, but unfortunately, it is empty and meaningless.

Perhaps knowing its limitations, the film employs manipulative emotional tactics, like low key, somber music and schmaltzy dialogue, to try to trick us into caring about Amelia. It even flashes back and forth from the preparation of the doomed flight to her actual journey in its attempt to create a foreboding atmosphere, teasing us by showing little snippets of Earhart in her last days to the point where it feels insulting. It tries to create a sense of dread as if its audience is historically oblivious to the woman's final flight. We already know the events surrounding her disappearance is mysterious. We don't need that mystery forced down our throats.

All this movie really needed was a competent script with drawn out characters and emotional relationships, but it has none. The script is awful and the characters are criminally unexplored, like, for instance, Earhart's intimacy with flying being told only through badly written voiceover. We never truly get to feel her love for it. You can tell me all you want, but showing me is much more effective.

Much of the dialogue is said in a way that would never be said in real life, even in the late 20's or early 30's, like when George asks Amelia to marry him and she goes off on some nonsense tangent about how her father gave her a globe when she was young, which is really just a long, drawn out, cinematic way of saying no.

Amelia is schlocky, asinine drivel with hokey dialogue and poorly drawn out romantic relationships. There is no emotional connection in the entire movie, neither between the characters onscreen nor between Earhart and the audience. I cared so little about her that I was hoping for her to hurry up and disappear so I could get up and walk out of the theater.

The real Amelia Earhart is a terrific woman who inspired not just the country, but the entire world with her aviation adventures and she deserves a truly great biopic to chronicle her life and untimely death. Amelia, I'm afraid, is not it.

Amelia receives 1/5

This Is It Michael Jackson's Last Hurrah

June 25, 2009 was an unforgettable day. It was a day that the world felt a shock. It was a day that many people are claiming as one of the most emotionally impactful days they've ever experienced. It was the day Michael Jackson died. Since that day, the world has lost one of the most popular and successful entertainers to have ever lived. At a mere 50 years old, Jackson was preparing for a comeback tour that never happened and This Is It is here to show us what that tour may have been like.

The movie opens with three little words, "For the fans." I'll tell you straight up, I am not a fan. I appreciate what Michael Jackson has done for music and he deserves to go down as one of the greatest musicians ever, but it's just not my thing. Though I remember seeing the old Thriller video growing up and I was aware of many of his best hits, I never latched onto him like the rest of the world. Perhaps that will sway my opinion, perhaps not. I like to think it won't, but in the interest of full disclosure, no, I am not an avid listener of his music.

The footage from this movie is taken from rehearsals for his comeback tour that took place on various days from March through June of 2009. According to the text preceding the film, most of the footage was meant for Jackson's personal library, though some, like the new and improved Thriller video, was meant as a showcase for the tour. This was never planned as an after-the-fact film for all to see, bringing into question the reasoning behind its release. There's really only one answer: to capitalize on his death. Had he not died, this film would have never happened, which is all the evidence you need to know this movie does not have its heart in the right place.

The title, This Is It, refers to many things. It is the title of his new album released earlier this week. It is the title of his planned tour that never came into fruition. It is also a message to the audience because this really is it. This is the last time fans will be able to see him showcase his talent. But for me, it was more like, "This is it?"

Jackson is a multi-layered man that has had a lucrative musical career and seen his fair share of media coverage detailing his extremely controversial life. The material for a real documentary that probes every facet of him is primed and ready to be put together, but none of that is in this. This is nothing more than a pretentious ego stroke, raising Jackson up as a god-like idol, and a loathsome capitalization on his death.

Of course, it's also merely rehearsal footage. It's not like you're seeing a finished, realized version of what would have been his comeback tour. No, you are getting rough rehearsals that don't always look or sound all that great. There are mess-ups, there are blunders, sour notes are hit and Jackson isn't at his best, reserving his voice for the actual performances that never happened. The material just isn't all that interesting. The concert itself would have been an amazing spectacle I'm sure, but contrary to the title, this isn't it.

However, with all of that said, there were certain song rehearsals that were a blast to watch, particularly the ones where a plethora of dancers were onstage with Jackson practicing their fanciful choreography. I also enjoyed the extra footage that was shot prior to his death that was supposed to play on a giant screen during the tour, like Jackson's incorporation into an old Humphrey Bogart movie and the new Thriller video. It's impossible to watch Jackson perform Thriller and not get excited because it is a truly awesome sequence, in large part due to the dance, which is one of the best and most recognizable dances ever choreographed.

Jackson is surprisingly humble in the film, never truly losing his temper even when rehearsals don't go as well as he'd like. Even when he criticizes the people performing with him, it is always constructive and he finishes each criticism with the phrase, "with the love," meaning that what he says shouldn't be taken as anger or hate. He just wants everybody to perform as well as he knows they can. Granted, if there were moments where he did lose control, the filmmakers would undoubtedly leave them on the cutting room floor, but based on the footage shown, you get a new perspective on the always ridiculed man and come to appreciate him.

This Is It isn't a bad movie because it's not really much of a movie at all. It's plainly shot rehearsal footage that was never meant to be seen by the public. While fans will enjoy it, I'm more inclined to pine for a real documentary on Michael Jackson, something that delves into the intricacies of his life, not this bland, and sometimes boring, rehearsal montage. Nevertheless, his fans will latch onto it like leeches and I do think there is enough here to please, despite its scarce content.

This Is It receives 2.5/5